I Demand My Peace Prize! (You Can Keep the Oscar!)

by Ken Kensington

In 1989, I did a paper and presentation in my high school chemistry class on the threat of global warming. I won't bore you with all of the science and the rock solid conclusions I drew from them, but basically I warned of a possible, or even likely, future in a globally-warmed world -- a future where the differences between the U.S. and Canada would be tragically blurred. I cautioned my disinterested classmates of a future where U.S. Olympic athletes took steroids like their Canadian neighbors.

I pleaded with my fellow teenagers to heed the warning signs or face a future where hockey infested America. Now, only eighteen years after I told my fellow Vikings of this inconvenient truth, 80% of the teams in the NHL are based south of Canada. I gave my dreary forecast not long after Calgary beat Montreal for the Stanley Cup championship. Fast forward ... now, the last three Stanley Cup winners hailed from Los Angeles, North Carolina and Florida, respectively.

As if all that weren't enough, the Canadian dollar, the aptly named "looney," has caught up with the U.S. dollar!

Oh, global warming, I stood on guard against thee.

So Al Gore, no need to send me the Nobel, I'm willing to share it with you.